Men and Prayer

By Rev. Burt Farias

There are two categories of prayerless men that I’ve witnessed in the church over the years. One category is those men who are in a grave state of spiritual decline in their lives, and they have a difficult time hearing correction, reproof, and instruction in righteousness. They have no real desire for the nourishment of the Word of God or for prayer. There is a dullness of heart and a slowness to believe and act on the Word of God. Much of their condition results from strongholds of fear, guilt, and sin and just a general neglect of spiritual things. As a matter of fact, in this state, men find natural things much more real than spiritual things, so there is a vital need a complete overhaul of their Christian experience. The Lord will help them out of this backslidden condition if they will repent and cooperate with Him. It’s never too late.

The second category of prayerless men in the church include those whose hearts are open to the Lord, but live such busy, cluttered lives that it drains them of their spiritual passions and sensitivity. The cares of this life and the pursuit of earthly pleasures keep them in a place where God’s wisdom and direction for them is not heard. If these men would prioritize their lives and take time to wait on the Lord, He would speak to them and show them things to come.

One time a prophet of God was sitting towards the back in a church service when suddenly he saw Jesus walking around and ministering to people. While ministering to them, Jesus kept a running conversation with this prophet. In front of the prophet was a man who was busy whispering to his wife and couldn’t seem to get settled. Jesus stood there looking at this man with his hands relaxed and folded in front of him for about 30 seconds. Then He spoke these words:
“I want to tell him many things, but I can’t because he has not prepared his heart to receive, and he won’t enter into the flow of the Spirit in the service. But I am faithful. If he sets his heart to receive from Me at a later time, as he reads My Word at home, or another service, or in private meditation on the things of the Spirit, at those times I could speak to him. This is how I must oftentimes be with My children. Sadly, most of this man’s spiritual life consists of a service like this. In times past I have tried to talk to him about certain things, for there are many questions he has for Me; he is looking for direction in his work, because he is not happy there, and also for his family. He has not truly prepared himself to receive from Me. The wisdom he asks of Me hasn’t been a high enough priority for him, though I am ready to speak to him.”

The prophet of God then asked Jesus about the man because he did have a Bible lying on the chair next to him. Jesus responded again:
“He brings it, but outside of a service, he rarely reads it for anything more than casual reading. Sometimes he’ll pick it up to read, but he hasn’t learned to receive from Me on a personal level so he gets bored and puts it down, though he has known Me for some time. Years in fact. If he would just fellowship with Me and linger in My presence, he would receive.”

Because men are prone to a greater hardness of heart than women (see Colossians 3:19, 21), which leads to an insensitivity to the things of God, there’s a real need for men to allow the Holy Spirit to tender their hearts in prayer. As a younger preacher I was hardhearted, and the Lord began dealing with me. One day he spoke some profound words to me which I wrote in a journal:
“Give birth to tenderness. Give birth to weeping. Give birth to the compassion of Jesus. Go into the Holy of Holies. Stand in the place where the Son of Man has gone, and feel and be touched with the infirmities of man. Go in there, HARD MAN, and be turned to tenderness. Give place to the things of My Spirit that you’ve been denied. Time and time again you’ve come, but you’ve never gone far enough. Worship Me now, and love will transform you.”

It is the love of God that will transform you. But why is it that so many men draw back from prayer and fellowship with God? What is at the root of their hardheartedness? And how can they be helped?

I believe a sense of unworthiness and insecurity in their Son-ship is a primary reason of why men draw back from God. Many men have never experienced the true love of the Father. The image of the Father has been blocked from their spiritual understanding. A revelation of the Father’s love will melt the hardness in their hearts and create much grace in their lives. It’s when men begin to understand the Father’s love for them that they will also begin to receive His grace. And it’s the Father’s grace that will release men from serving themselves.
Here are a few helpful pointers to get men started in prayer:

1. Meditate on the Father’s love for you. Identify scriptures that minister His love to you. The story of the prodigal son is a good one (Luke 15). Because you are His son He favors you. You don’t need your employer’s favor or your landlord’s favor or favor with some famous or influential personality. You need favor with God! Make Him your greatest contact.

2. Have a good and positive attitude about prayer. See prayer as your appointment with a Father who loves you and, who is the wisest person in the universe who knows everything about everything. It’s your attitude toward prayer that makes prayer easy, fun, and exciting. The thought of going to prayer should automatically calm your spirit. Prayer is highly addictive when it is done right and approached with the right attitude. The key is to pray five minutes rather than five hours. It’s better to pray for only five minutes and enjoy it than praying five hours struggling and then get a bad opinion of prayer. You’ll find that your time with God will increase as your hunger increases.

3. Prayer must be done daily and early. The scripture says, “My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning...” (Psalm 130:6, KJV). To me this means that there’s some kind of spiritual contention that goes on in the morning that is a battle for that day. The old timers used the expression, “seize the day.” Two things that will help you to seize the day are prayer and an anointed ‘to do’ list to keep your mind un-cluttered. It would also help you to journalize answers to prayer or direction/wisdom God speaks to you in order to remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.

4. Focus all your mental energies and powers of concentration on the Father. It may help you to write your ‘to do’ list the night before or when you first wake up. When I surveyed some Bible school students years ago concerning their number one struggle in prayer, the majority said that mental distractions and staying focused was their biggest problem in prayer.

5. Finally, watch out and be on guard against a spirit of accusation that will crush your motivation to pray by telling you that you’re not spiritual enough and reminding you of all your failures. The heavenly Father will sometimes correct you, but He will do it in a loving way that will energize you and leave you excited about moving forward. And remember, that the dry times in prayer are not a result of God’s disapproval or that God is not with you, but they are, in fact, the greatest opportunities for your personal growth in God. The greatest advances in prayer are many times made in those dry times where you feel nothing.

Be encouraged, my brothers! Let’s rise up, and be the men of prayer God has called us to be. Remember, it is prayerful men who change the world for God’s glory.